The Ladybird Incident

What is the most evil creature in the garden? Okay, I think we established last month that it's the wasp. But what's the SECOND most evil creature? The answer, as it turns out, is the aphid. Small and innocuous, almost invisible to the naked eye, tiny aphids suck the life out of your plants, multiply like rabbits and can eventually kill even large plants.

(From Wesley's blog http://wesleyjohnston.blogspot.com)

This is not an academic observation, for we have a house plant (yes, an INDOOR plant) that has become infested with aphids. We have had the plant so long that we don't even know what it is, but this once-thriving plant has been a shadow of its former self for many months. Two simple home remedies were suggested to us, and both were tried and failed. The first involved the rather crude and messy approach of running your fingers down the stem, squishing the little blighters. But a pair always manages to survive, and then in Adam-and-Eve style repopulates the plant within days. The second approach involves spraying the plant with a mixture of water and detergent. This causes them to die and fall off. But, again, one or two always survive....

We searched in desperation for a third option. SURELY in our scientific age there has got to be a solution, we thought. And a third option we did find! It turns out that ladybirds love nothing more than to tuck into a nice meal of aphids. Mmmm. Put a few ladybirds on the plant, sit back and watch the aphid massacre! Haha!

The only snag is how to obtain said ladybirds. Ladybirds are not exactly common in our area of Belfast, and those that there are have the rather annoying and selfish characteristic of attempting to evade capture by flying away.

And so we turned in desperation to a shop called Gardening Naturally. They will actually sell you (wait for it) ladybird larvae that you can put on the plant. Ladybird larvae (apparently) love aphids almost as much as their parents do. So I sent off my £20 and a week later received a little package with the rather disconcerting message "Live Contents" stamped on the outside. Inside the parcel was a little plastic box containing five live ladybird larvae, and about twenty dead ones. Feeling that 80% mortality was a little steep even for insects, I contacted the shop. They weren't sure what happened, but after conducting some research it seems that ladybird larvae are actually cannibalistic and will eat each other if stressed. Flying from England to Northern Ireland in an unpressured aeroplane cargo hold MAY qualify as stressful. But we will never know what went on during that flight.

Anyway, I put the five surviving larvae on the plant. While they did eat some aphids, they really were just too little to make much impact. I mean this plant has about 500 aphids on it, and these guys were eating about one a day. Just not up to the task, I'm afraid.

Fortunately, Gardening Naturally came to my aid! To apologise for the deceased larvae, they offered to send me 25 ADULT ladybirds. So another package of "Live Contents" arrived, and this time found 25 live ladybirds in a little box along with about 20 cheerios! It seems ladybirds love cheerios as well as aphids. It's amazing what you learn! 25 ladybirds was far too many for one plant, so I put 4 or 5 onto the plant and released the rest in the garden. Then I sat back to watch.

The first ladybird was put straight onto the middle of a leaf that had about ten aphids already on it, happily sucking sap out of the leaf. The ladybird stood still for a few moments. The aphids all stood still as well - did they recognise what the ladybird was? You could hear the sounds of a "western"-style gun stand off. Then, one of the aphids seemed to fire a starting pistol and they scattered in all directions. But the ladybird was too quick and it ran after one of them, caught it and seized it with its pincers! Never have I witnessed the carnage of the insect world at such close range. After about five minutes the ladybird seemed to finish whatever it was ladybirds do to aphids, and it simply dropped it off the plant. Yikes.

Over the next few days I would come down and check the plant. Each day there were fewer aphids, while the ladybirds were looking a little plumper. And today, just ten days, on I was unable to find a SINGLE aphids on my plant! Hurrah! The ladybirds, having eaten everything on the plant have now disappeared too. I found one on the window and released it into the garden. The remaining ones... who knows? Perhaps I'll wake up in the middle of the night and find a giant ladybird in my room!

Anyway, let's hear it for natural gardening remedies!

And perhaps the other conclusion is that ladybirds are probably even move evil than aphids...

The Wasp Incident

Well it had to happen sooner or later.... yesterday I joined the ranks of Those Who Have Been Stung By Wasps. My memory of the event is a little hazy, but as there is at least one salutory lesson in the whole sorry saga, I thought I'd share it.

I recently become conscious of my sedentary lifestyle by reading about research that took place over ten years. It said that on average you can live 14 years longer by (1) eating more fruit and veg (2) not smoking (3) not drinking alcohol to excess and (4) taking regular exercise. Of these, 2 and 3 sort themselves out very nicely. Number 1 was slightly harder, but still is not a huge sacrifice, so I can now say that is also imlpemented. Number 4 is the tricky one, seeing as my work and my spare time is usually spent sitting in front of a computer or on the sofa.

My wife suggested that (4) could be implemented in part by some hard work in the garden, which I thought was an excellent idea. So on Wednesday night, fortified with some dinner, I headed out into the garden armed with spade, gardening gloves and bucket. Job #1 was to clear the ivy out of the hedge. Our neighbours have lots of ivy which tends to grow into the hedge and needs pulled out regularly to avoid it choking the hedge. Having spent Wednesday evening researching wasps, I NOW know that this is exactly the sort of place that hibernating wasps love to hang out at this time of year. I also know that if there's one thing that really annoys hibernating wasps its people reaching in and yanking out undergrowth. Anyhow....

So there I am down on all fours pulling ivy out of the hedge when I see a movement, hear a buzzing near my ear and then feel a sharp pain, like getting an injection, just above my left eye. Instinctively (and stupidly) I slap myself on the face, feel an ever sorer sharp pain, look at my hand to see a dead wasp on the palm of my hand!

By now my mind, having been subjected to 7 years of primary education, 7 years of secondary education, 4 years of graduate education and 3 years of postgraduate education has concluded that "I have just been stung by a wasp". First thing that needs done in this situation is to seek out sympathy, and medical attention. Thankfully for me I can get both from my darling wife. Of course, having a doctor for a wife also means that you get the cold reality of modern medicine, rather than the more comforting ineffective-but-placebo-type home remedies. She looks at the sting, by now swelling noticeably, and says "well, you're not allergic to wasp stings". Mmm... small relief I guess. Second thing "at least it didn't sting Grace [our 4 month old daugher]". That's a much bigger relief, actually! I say (helpfully) "do you put bicarb of soda on wasp stings?", but no, apparently that's an old wives tale for which there is no medical evidence in support. So I get a lump of ice wrapped up in a cloth.

Armed with my ice, and calming down a bit, I go out to find the dead wasp, just to satisfy myself that it really is dead (which it is). The whole episode has taught me lots of lessons:

1) Do not rummage in deep undergrowth in June.

2) Wasps are spiteful, impatient, grumpy insects.

3) Wasp stings hurt a LOT, although not quite as much as I had imagined.

4) Bicarb of soda is ineffective on wasp stings.

5) You look ridiculous with a swollen eyebrow.

6) It's hard to sleep with a wasp sting throbbing away.

7) Wasp stings still hurt 18 hours after the event.

8) Revenge is sweet.

Earthquakes and collapses

The recent tragic events in L'Aquila have once again highlighted the fact that collapsing buildings are usually the main culprit when people are killed during earthquakes. Unfortunately this earthquake occurred at night, when almost everyone was indoors, and in an area where masonry construction was the norm.

Unlike countries such as Japan or the western United States, which also have cities in fault zones, Italy has few laws requiring buildings to be constructed to be earthquake resistant.It is no exaggeration to say that earthquake engineering would have saved lives in L'Aquila. Some say that it is too expensive to built a building that can withstand an earthquake, and this is true to an extent. Constructing a building to be able to survive a substantial earthquake without requiring major repair work is possible, but hugely expensive. It can only be carried out on major building projects.

Of course, earthquakes often strike in second and third world countries. We have all seen the huge death tolls that resulted from earthqakes in places such as Iran, China and Mexico. In these cases poorer people often live in homes that consist of masonry walls and concrete floors and roofs. Masonry performs appallingly in an earthquake, with even well-built brick buildings weakening to the point of collapse within a matter of seconds. A typical earthquake of 30 seconds or more is more than sufficient to bring a ten ton slab of concrete crashing down into the rooms below.

Clearly earthquake-proofing homes in the third world is not economically viable nor is it practical in logistical terms. However, we must bear in mind that it is not essential for the building itself to actually survive the earthquake. It is sufficient for it to remain intact enough not to kill its occupants. Although it would be a bad situation, most people would still rather survive and be left homeless than to be killed in their beds.

The technology to achieve this has been tried and tested in the third world, and is simple and affordable. The building is built from a series of reinforced concrete pillars. These can be made on site, by putting metal rods vertically and pouring concrete into moulds round them. The concrete roof is then set on top. Finally, the walls are build with normal masonry.

In an earthquake, the masonry walls of this building will crack and be badly damaged, but this is okay as they are not load-bearing. The concrete pillars may crack and bend, but will likely remain standing and hold the roof up. The occupants will not be crushed by the roof and will be able to get out alive.

There is a social justice challenge for us all here. Many people in earthquake zones may not be able to afford to build earthquake-proof homes, but it should be possible with relatively little extra expense to provide homes that will at least allow people to survive an earthquake.

And, of course, similar technology should be made compulsory for all new buildings constructed in Italy as well. I hope this lesson is learned.

KFC and ambiguity

Let me tell you about what happened at lunch time. Realising that I had not eaten a proper, nutritious lunch at work for many days, I decided to go to KFC. I didn't fancy any of the "standard" stuff like Zinger Meal or Chicken Burger, so I decided to go for a tapas approach and buy some individual items. So I ordered:

1x portion of popcorn chicken

1x portion of chicken wings

1x portion of fries

This cost me £6. I thought this was dear, but I paid it anyway. After all, you do have to pay for quality.

Now here is the crunch. A crucial fact which I did not realise at the time, but which I now appreciate only too well, is that everything KFC sells comes with fries, whether explicitly stated or not. So this is what I actually got:

1x portion of popcorn chicken plus 1x portion of fries

1x portion of chicken wings plus 1x portion of fries

1x portion of fries

Yes, people I ended up with three portions of fries. The seagulls in Newtownards befitted greatly from this.

My wallet did not.

Change of Title

Following some gentle teasing from my very good friend WhyNotSmile, I have changed the title of the blog from the somewhat mundane "Wesley Johnston's Blog". Alas, this change does mean the removal of the much-lauded apostrophe, but I think it is a sacrificing worth making.

In practice, now that I have one follower, this post will essentially be read by just that person. However, in the vain hope that at some point in the future people may be reading back over this blog in an attempt to piece together my life, I must still write in a tense that suggests I am addressing the Internet as a whole.

In that context, therefore, I recommend all my visitors to check out WhyNotSmile, a blog that manages to combine wit with insight and intelligence. Lots of mutual back patting all round.

And believe me, there will be plenty of posts about roads coming up. Not just about the roads themselves (the widened M2 is due to open any day now!) but also road theory (just why is it that Sandyknowes is so bad?) and transport theory (are cars really THAT evil?).

Finally, I have now been mocked for choosing white-on-black as my blog theme. Although a computer scientist by training, my approach to computers has always been "choose the default setting and keep life simple". If enough people complain about the colour, I will endeavour to change it. In the meantime, I will try to provide colour through the content of my posts.

On science

I spent four years of my life studying for my degree and then, when most of my friends went out and got a decent job and earned a living, I decided to go back for three more years of postgrad study. Seven years in university gives you a lot of time to think. Especially during the epically long four month summer holiday that students get. What was I doing all this time? Well, 50% of the time* was spent drinking tea in the chaplaincy. The other 50% of time I used studying computer science. During this time I was trained to be a scientist and to use the scientific method.

It was only towards the end of this time that I really started to understand what a wonderful thing the scientific method actually is. It's a beautifully simple concept, yet has allowed the human race to go from primitive cave-dwelling club-wielders to a species equally at home at the ocean floor and in interplanetary space.

Science is the study of creation. For reasons known only to himself, God made the universe obey rules. The rules are amazingly complex, but they are there nonetheless. But he didn't tell us what they are - we have to figure this out for ourselves. This is what science does - it tries to understand the rules that govern the universe, and then use what we learn to extrapolate new ideas and develop technology. Without science, you would not be reading this blog. In fact, you would not be reading. In fact, most likely you would not even be.

Like I said, the scientific method is wonderfully simple. It consists of four steps:

1. Observe a phenomenon or event.
2. Theorise. In other words, come up with a possible explanation.
3. Make a prediction. Find some way to test your theory.
4. Carry out the test, and accept or reject the theory.

This method can be used to test everything from the way a pendulum swings, to the temperatures on a mountain and the way in which a ball bounces. Almost all technology that we have developed as a human race was derived from knowledge acquired through the scientific method.

However, there are two things about the scientific method that deserve caution.

1. It can only be used to examine what can be observed and test. Things that cannot be observed and independently verified cannot be studied by the scientific method. One example is the concept of beauty, since that is highly subjective and cannot be independently verified by others. Another example is God, who appears to remain deliberately beyond verifiable testing. Some scientists make the mistake of thinking that if it can't be explored by the scientific method, then it does not exist. But this is irrational.
2. The scientific method is predisposed to disproving things. It is very easy to disprove a theory, but extremely hard to prove a theory. For example, if I have a bag of coins and I take out 100 coins and every one of them turns out to be a ten pence piece, I could theorise that every coin in the bag is a ten pence piece. This is easy to disprove - even a single example of another coin would be enough. But to prove it, I would have to exhaustively remove every single coin. Science is thus biased toward disproof.

The scientific method is a wonderful thing. I devoted 7 years of my life to it. It has transformed the human race and our understanding of the created world. But it is not the answer to everything. We should not rely on science alone. There are many things, God included, to which we cannot apply the scientific method. This does not mean that they are not there. It just highlights one of the shortcomings of science.

Science can explain a lot - an awful lot - but logically it can't explain everything.

*perhaps more

New blog

When I made the move from Omagh to Glengormley, I found it very noticeable how everyone in Belfast pronounces words like "flower" "tower" and "power" as if they were spelled "flar" "tar" and "par". Of course, being the only ex-Omaghite in Glengormley all my friends regarded my pronunciation as the weird one.... even asking me to say sentences containing these words, rather like how Irish people in America are often asked to "say something, say something"!

This is all well and good as far as it goes. Different accents in different places. But the other day I noticed myself saying that such-and-such was "par for the course", and I realised that while that might be quite unambiguous in Omagh, in Belfast there is no way to distinguish between the words "power" and "par" other than through the context. Similarly, I could point out a "tower" over there, or the "tar" over there and be understood quite fine in Omagh, but in Belfast everyone would be at a loss to know which you meant.

These are serious problems. The fear of mixing up my towers and my tar is almost enough to make me want to up stick and move back to Omagh.